041111, Friday, it is confirmed: Yes, still winter (and a windy one at that)

5 ‘O clock on Friday afternoon.  I should really go out and visit some friends.  But it’s unpleasant outside, it’s been windy since 2 days ago and I feel certainly under the weather.  When I got home from teaching this morning, I went straight to sleep for about 4 hours.  I feel better now but it might only be the medicine talking. 

Just drove the 20km to Ngcwanguba for gas, only to be told that there might only be gas again on Tuesday… Nice.  I’ll try not to cook until then.  Hopefully the wind dies down so I can make a fire. 

Today is the 4th of November.  My younger sister would’ve turned 32 today if she hadn’t driven into a tree that morning before Christmas in 2005.  Still seems surreal, I guess it was never meant to feel real.  That event has impacted my life so much, it is possibly one of the greatest  factors why I’m sitting right here where I’m sitting today.  In Coffee Bay, at my little caravan table, typing on my laptop, looking out at the banana trees outside my window.

The morning before my sister died, the last time I saw her, we were walking across the road when she told me about a dream she had about me the previous night.  She said that in her dream she couldn’t believe that she had me as her sister and that she was so proud of me.  She put her arm around me and shouted to someone she knew opposite the road.  She said: “Hey Coenie, this is my sister, did you know this is my sister?”  And she went on about how proud she was of me and I said to her, but why, I haven’t done anything to be proud of, you’re the one that we’re proud of!  (She was a chef and had just opened a restaurant in Greyton, which was getting great reviews – she was only 26 and this was the first attempt at anything like this)

Anyway, so I’ve always felt that these last words of her to me was some form of prophetic message about my future and not my past.  And the realization of how short life can be – it can really end in any instant, made me driven to follow my dream in any way I can.  I’ve always dreamt about travelling through Africa and taking photographs and connecting with the people of Africa and share in God’s love with them, so that’s why I gave up my security and comfortable city existence and closeness of friends and here I am in Coffee Bay. Some days are really not easy and a lot of struggle, but I’m happy and I see moments of God’s glory shining through.

I can’t tell exactly where this dream is going from here, only God can tell you that.  It might be that I just stay here and do whatever I can, or perhaps, who knows, I might still see the rest of Africa as well…

All I know is that God has a plan for me and I have reason to believe that it is a good plan…